Fleet Marine Life

I’ve heard this type of story many times in many safety briefs.

Gunny Warhero would tell us stuff like, “Females! Don’t go out with the male Marines. They will fuck anything with a heartbeat! Hell, it doesn’t even need a heartbeat!” Then he would look at the Male Marines and say, “Male Marines! You may go out of town and there might be an old guy who says that he likes the Marines and offers to buy you a drink. He is going to get you so fucked up that the next thing you know you’re being fucked in the ass by a 70 year old man in a spiderman costume and that shit is all over the internet! YOU LAUGH NOW BUT THAT SHIT HAPPENED LAST WEEK!!!”

Another gunny would always tell us, “If she’s willing to go home with you then she’s willing to go home with anybody. Especially you Boostamount, you ugly ass motherfucker! Did everyone know he’s married? Who’d marry you? Fuck! I sure as hell wouldn’t.” And that’s true. To some heartless bitches, Marines are guaranteed paychecks, free healthcare, free housing, etc. They will marry Marines just to divorce them, take half their shit and then look for another Marine to start another cycle. Mother fucking black widow spiders are everywhere so beware.

Get fucked in the ass (literally) since 1775.